750. Watching AMC after Coming Home from Helmand Province, Afghanistan

Watching AMC after Coming Home from Helmand Province, Afghanistan

Travis Bickle, I feel you: deadbeat Marine
just returned from ‘Nam,
can’t sleep because of the dreams,
but you still need a job.

Like you, my parents don’t know my career
is a falsification of time;
37 rejections so far, I’ve sold
not one word of my rhyme.

We policed the third world but scum
lives on our own welcome mats:
pimps and publishers,
drug-dealers and Democrats.

I will pull up and push up,
calligraph and fist pump;
until, like you,
I’m ready, too.






All content ©Dario DiBattista 2011. All posts are for display purposes only and not to be considered published.

749. Even When You're Not Here

I can feel your hand woven into mine,
I can see your regal face so fine,
I can stare into your wide-eyed gaze,
I can smell your scent that stays,

Even when you’re not here, on my pillow,
Even when you’re not here, on my chest,
Even when you’re not here, right beside me,
Even when you’re not here, though it's best.

I can feel your chest rise and fall,
I can see your cryptic smile,
I can watch your peaceful closed eyes,
I can smell tomorrow morning’s lies,

Even when you’re not here, on my pillow,
Even when you’re not here, on my chest,
Even when you’re not here, right beside me,
Even when you’re not here, though it’s best.



All content ©Dario DiBattista 2011. All posts are for display purposes only and not to be considered published.

748. Was I Satisfied at Central Connecticut State University?

This came in the mail the other day: a survey of my undergraduate collegiate experience at Central Connecticut State University (CCSU). I think it will be more fun to answer some of the questions on here.

1. How satisfied are you with your experience at CCSU?

Somewhat Satisfied

3. Which of the following co-curricular activities did you do while at CCSU (Check all that apply)?

Student Club or Organization
Residence Hall Staff
Other non-classroom activity; please specify: 1) Going with underage musicians to a local blues bar, getting them drunk, and playing sweet rock and roll and blues. 2.) Karaoke, every Friday.

6. What do you wish you could have changed about your experience at CCSU?

Fewer girls from Connecticut or New England (no offense, my RA loves). In fact, almost every girl there should have been brought in out-of-state from the South, or Mexico. Also, if maybe somehow, CCSU could have merged with Yale, became a satellite campus, and disqualified the majority of the student body from attending – that would have been cool.

15. How satisfied are you with your CCSU preparation for your current job?

Well, given that I deal with demanding customers at a restaurant (because my degree in political science is mostly worthless here in Maryland where no one’s ever heard of CCSU), my two years of experience as a resident assistant with petulant and uncouth freshmen at CCSU prepared me very well for being humiliated and treated like shit on a daily basis. Thanks, CCSU!

747. Top Ten Ways You Know You're a Writer

I’ve wanted to start doing lists of top 10s and top 5s forever now. Might as well start here. And the list:

10. You blog more than you jog.

9. You have a favorite pen, which you use until it runs out of ink. If you lose said pen before it gets used, you’re genuinely upset. When it runs out of ink, you’re also genuinely upset.

8. You know that a workshop has nothing to do with Tech Ed or a home improvement project

7. The fact I didn’t use a period in number 8 is driving you nuts.

6. The fact I just used a cliché is also annoying you.

5. Though you really do support and love them, you also secretly hate every other writer on the planet, especially the ones more successful than you.

4. You spend tens of thousands of dollars on an MA or MFA program, knowing that it is unlikely you will ever make that money back with pure writing.

3. A byline in the New Yorker would be just as glorious of day as the day your first child was (or will be) born.

2. Walking through a dark alley is “interesting”; writer’s block is “scary”.

1. You read this entire blog to learn more things about yourself that you already know.

746. A Scene from College

This will be available to own for free on www.dariodibattista.com soon. Thank you for your patience.

Cheers,

Dario







All content ©Dario DiBattista 2010. All posts are for display purposes only and not to be considered published.

745. New Year's Eve

(mostly unedited from my journal)

Why am I up at 3:13 am when I know I will be woken up at nine? Why won't I cut ties with the memories that haunt my thoughts so I can sleep? I've been ready to give my life over to something or someone else three times. The first: I fucked up. The second: I wanted to love her but she just used me for comfort instead, ditching me when inconvenient. The third is my love for writing. I've sacrificed everything for this craft and passion.

But here I am, writing words in a journal just before a New Year when everything is good but still, something is missing.

I'm not sure what it is, so I draw my pen further along each line on the page, left to right -- racing -- for the period that will bring a necessary pause in thought so I can think about something else inane to say.

I guess all I have to say is this: If you have something you love, claim it; hold it against your heart and feel it pulse against you. Don't be like me and hold the real truth and real emotions inside. You've got to fight for love; it digs in its heels when pushed. No one can erase what is real.

Anyone who says otherwise preaches obfuscation and wants you to burn.

744. Red, White, and Dead

This will be available to own for free on www.dariodibattista.com soon. Thank you for your patience.

Cheers,

Dario







All content ©Dario DiBattista 2010. All posts are for display purposes only and not to be considered published.