Monday, February 14, 2011

747. Top Ten Ways You Know You're a Writer

I’ve wanted to start doing lists of top 10s and top 5s forever now. Might as well start here. And the list:

10. You blog more than you jog.

9. You have a favorite pen, which you use until it runs out of ink. If you lose said pen before it gets used, you’re genuinely upset. When it runs out of ink, you’re also genuinely upset.

8. You know that a workshop has nothing to do with Tech Ed or a home improvement project

7. The fact I didn’t use a period in number 8 is driving you nuts.

6. The fact I just used a cliché is also annoying you.

5. Though you really do support and love them, you also secretly hate every other writer on the planet, especially the ones more successful than you.

4. You spend tens of thousands of dollars on an MA or MFA program, knowing that it is unlikely you will ever make that money back with pure writing.

3. A byline in the New Yorker would be just as glorious of day as the day your first child was (or will be) born.

2. Walking through a dark alley is “interesting”; writer’s block is “scary”.

1. You read this entire blog to learn more things about yourself that you already know.

1 comment:

  1. Through a series of links, Charlie Sherpa (Red Bull Rising) pointed me in this direction. Been reading through a lot of your stuff most of the evening and I figure now is a good time to stop and comment.

    1. Let it be known: YOU FUGGING SUCK. There. I no longer secretly hate you for your success.

    2. Relieved. Recharged. Inspired. Some of what I feel after creeping through your archive.

    3. I could say more but my creative juices are flowing and because I hate you I refuse to waste any more time spilling kind words into this comment box.

    4. I lied. Please keep writing.