Sunday, February 28, 2010

725. The Dario Effect

Any of you who have ever spent any significant time with me know about "The Dario Effect." No, this isn't some egotistical thing about ladies fainting when I enter a room; its an inconvenience thing that affects my daily life and the lives of the people around me. Simply put, "The Dario Effect" means this: everything that I actually want and desire or need becomes unnecessarily complicated or eludes me for longer than it reasonably should.

If I'm desperate for a Red Bull in the morning, inevitably, the first couple places I go to find it will be out of stock somehow. If I'm running late for classes in D.C. (please understand that "running late" means leaving an hour early because of anticipation of "The Dario Effect"), no doubt, a tree will fall onto the highway, stopping traffic.

I know that most people will say, stop whining Dario this happens to me too -- you ain't special. But before you disregard what I'm saying, here are some recent examples from just the last week (keep in mind that this list is by no means extensive):

1. Last Sunday I went to help my friend move. No big deal; I don't mind assisting my friends, but hey, it was on Sunday -- I just wanted it to be done quickly. What happened on the way? Oh yeah, I-83 South was ostensibly shut down because of a "major accident." We had to drive on the side roads. Just like everyone else.

2. GI Bill money. I'm now well over a month into the semester and they haven't paid me the 1200 dollars they owe me. What does this mean? I'll give you a hint: it involves digging through the couch and then going to coinstar. Yeah. I'm that broke.

3. This next one I probably shouldn't complain about, but, here it goes. Two Saturdays ago, I emailed a man who was interested in hiring me. He didn't get the email. I didn't find out till Wednesday. On Wednesday he said he'd call me on Friday around 4. He called me on Friday at 6:30 and said, we'll probably get back to you again next week with something concrete. Like I said, I can't complain because I need a job, but damn, why does this process have to take so long!?

4. Yesterday, I was sick and tired after my early class. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Guess what? The guy who parked in front of me in the public garage didn't give his keys to the attendant. It took almost thirty minutes of moving around cars like Tetris pieces to be able to maneuver my car out. And then I still had an hour and a half drive because of unusual traffic. Damn.

Yep, that's the jist of it. Snap!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

724. Goodbye, Beard

Goodbye, Beard. I miss you already. So much. People ridiculed you when you first started sprouting. Said you'd never be anything. I believed in you. My trust was rewarded with warmth and comraderie.

You saved me once. In Pittsburgh, after the Ravens game. Some unruly Steelers fans threw a snowball at us. We turned around and your wiry red color and impressive thickness intensified my rage. You scared them away - saved the day. I'm a short man but you made me feel seven feet tall. I could do anything, with you, together. I loved you.

I feel like I've divorced a child. When I pay off my debt with what I make utilizing a more professional look, I promise to buy a bike and bring you back.

In the meantime, I apologize to everyone I've let down. And you Beard.

I want you back.

723. Sold! To World Hum. A Story from My Book

Check it out if you like. I think its pretty sweet :-)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

722. Check Out My Interview at Not Alone!

Hello friends!

Please check out my interview about my military and coming-home experience on I promise that it will only moderately bore you :-)

Click Here!